


parallel parking and the dangers of unsteady hands

by penrosequartz



Series: PRQ's Marvel Extravaganza [6]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Versions Of The Same Person, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Fitz Screws Up But Not Too Badly, Getting Together, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of Arson, Parallel Universes, Polyamory, SHIELD 616 | The Bus, Sad Grant Ward, bioquake (background), fitzward - Freeform, tripsimmons (background)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-26 03:32:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13227216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penrosequartz/pseuds/penrosequartz
Summary: Parallel universes are parallel, that's the point. It means they don't touch. They can't touch.IN WHICH Leo Fitz questions science and its teachings, Grant Ward is confused and then sad, but everybody is mostly okay.





	parallel parking and the dangers of unsteady hands

**Author's Note:**

> set straight after season one but before/ignoring season two (and the rest of the show). the team are together, the clairvoyant is dead, ward 1.0 is in prison, and they're hiding out and trying to find more people in their corner.  
> finding people in their corner takes longer than expected so they're basically just permanently parked somewhere with wifi.  
> also for some reason billy doesn't exist and they're not at the playground they're just chilling somewhere else  
> 

_i wanna see you but you're not mine_

 

Parallel means corresponding to each other, but never meeting. As if two people, the same, but different, sat across from one another in some sort of... cosmic diner. Two steaming mugs of coffee in front of each of them, and between those mugs of coffee, infinite space and time. Or maybe, just a tiny sliver of the two. But never able to touch.

Parallel universes probably exist, Fitz thinks, but no one knows - because they can’t connect. Can’t crash into one another like stars, planets, moons. They can’t collide or collapse or do anything scientific, really, because science is based on knowledge. And humans don’t know anything about other realities.

But take train tracks, a famous example used to explain the concept of parallel lines. If there was something that knocked them out of place, say, an earthquake, maybe then they would meet. Twist into one another.

Fitz has his earphones in. They're hiding out, have been for months. They ran out of money a little while ago, so Fitz got a job at a supermarket to keep up their supplies, and, well... Their morale. S.H.I.E.L.D. is beginning again, and they’re the builders slaving away, stacking brick upon perilous brick, so they can’t starve - not until S.H.I.E.L.D. gets back on its feet.

So Fitz is there listening to the beat of his music through his cheap, shitty earphones, hood pulled over his head, when he catches sight of someone who looks familiar.

He can't believe what he's seeing, but the fluorescent lights of the bus (an actual bus, not their plane), along with the street lamps outside, are illuminating the street - and who’s on it - clearly:

Grant Ward is walking along the pavement.

The man looks disoriented, dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt. Fitz screws his eyes shut and shakes his head quickly, trying to rid himself of this crazy dream. Perhaps a nightmare - he's not quite sure yet.

But no, it's definitely Ward, and the man catches sight of something and seems to realise where he is, perhaps, and he looks around - he's searching for something. Fitz jumps up. This is the last bus home, but he's got a phone. Ward looks like a lost puppy, and he's… shit. Shit, he's bleeding down the side of his face.

He practically runs off the bus, jogging over to the specialist warily.

“Ward?” Fitz asks nervously.

Ward spins around, and there's definitely something different about him. Isn't he supposed to be in prison? Fitz doesn’t know why he’s standing here in front of a man who tried to kill him, a man who’s probably been broken out of some stronghold by HYDRA, and there’s probably HYDRA agents watching Fitz as he fidgets with his hands at his sides, clenching, unclenching his fists.

“Leo?” Ward replies softly, tears springing to his eyes, and Fitz feels his heart leap into his mouth.

“How… you're alive?” Ward continues, stepping towards the scientist, and Fitz takes a step back.

“What’s going on?” Fitz asks, demanding.

“The fire… what happened?” Ward frowns.

“What fire?” Fitz scowls in confusion. He doesn't trust anything Ward is saying, but the red that’s dripping down Ward’s face is actually the specialist’s blood, he’s sure. He doesn’t want Ward to _die,_ even if it’s just so he can get May to interrogate the bastard.

“You're not Leo,” Ward steels his jaw and draws his weapon from where it was tucked into his waistband, quick as a flash, “Who are you?”

Fitz swallows as the barrel is levelled at his head. He can't believe this is happening to him. Why did he do this? What the actual fuck had he been thinking, running off like this.

“I’m just gonna… call Coulson,” Fitz squeaks, “Please don’t shoot me. I’m not armed.” Ward reluctantly lowers his sidearm.

“I don’t understand,” Ward sounds almost desperate as Fitz dials Coulson’s number, “You’re… where did I…?”

He looks around, and Fitz is perplexed. Ward can’t seem to be able to remember something. The man is showing signs of memory loss, and it’s probably due to the goddamn dent in the side of his head. If Fitz wants to find out how Ward got here and why he’s here at all, he has to get him to Jemma ASAP.

“Agent Coulson, it’s Fitz- no, no, I… I need somebody to pick me up. Preferably you, and not May. No, it’s not just because I’m afraid of her- no, Coulson- I found somebody. He’s hurt, but you’re not gonna like it.”

There’s a pause before Fitz nods, confirms, and hangs up.

“May?” Ward’s eyes are back on him, and round and shining and _hopeful,_ for some reason.

“Yes?” Fitz says uncomfortably, his brain still trying to catch up to the fact that Ward had called him _Leo_ just before.

“Who else is alive?” Ward asks nervously, before his eyes go somewhat angry and Fitz freezes up, “And why did nobody tell me? I’ve been working my ass off, so has Agent Hill. Where have you-”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Ward,” Fitz swallows, and Ward suddenly looks very, very sad.

“Why are you… who are you?” Ward even looks scared now, but that’s impossible. Grant Ward does not get scared.

“I’m Agent Leo Fitz,” the scientist replies, “And there’s something wrong with you.”

 

* * *

 

The way Skye is looking at Ward is making Leo feel physically sick. And when she turns that gaze on him, he absolutely deserves it. What she endured because of Ward was horrific - and Fitz goes and brings him straight back into her life. Man, these last few hours have pretty much just been one giant cock-up.

May is looking at him like he’s grown a second head, though, which is new.

“What’s happening here?” She says, and she doesn’t sound passive-aggressive, just… genuinely confused.

“Don’t ask me,” Ward mumbles, and she snaps back at him.

“You can shut up,” then she glares at Coulson, “What’s going on?”

 _Now_ she sounds angry.

“He doesn’t seem to remember anything about… anything. He keeps talking about a fire- he apparently thinks we were dead?” Coulson rambles, throwing his hands around exasperatedly, “Don’t ask me either, May, because I have no _idea_ what’s happening.”

Ward has a couple of stitches and cuffs on his hands, which he seems bewildered by, and there really is something very strange happening here that Fitz can’t quite put his finger on.

Until… until he notices that Ward is barely looking at Skye. All his attention is on Fitz, and it’s almost making the scientist blush, how intense Ward’s gaze is. But it’s weird. Isn’t Ward supposed to be head-over-heels in obsessive love with Skye?

“I would really like to know why a Nazi is sitting in the lab,” the woman in question growls, and there’s so much pent-up anger in there. Fitz feels guilty, and terrible, and wishes that he could just go back and skip through songs on that bus when it drove past Ward. Wishes he’d never seen him stumbling around all disoriented.

But maybe this will be a unique opportunity.

Maybe.

Maybe it’ll just be a shitshow that ends in several bodies.

“A… what?” Ward turns to Skye stiffly and looks her over. Then he turns to Coulson.

“Who is this?” He asks, and clearly something is seriously wrong with Ward’s brain - even if Jemma said he didn’t have a concussion or anything, which is pretty extraordinary.

“Who- are you kidding me?” Skye screeches, stomping over and standing in front of him,, absolutely seething, “Don’t play dumb, Ward.”

Ward isn’t playing dumb. Fitz can see it - it’s not like before. Not like when he refused to believe that Ward was HYDRA. This is real, this time, he can tell. Grant Ward is telling the the truth, which means that somehow, there has to be some other extraordinary explanation for whatever crazy stuff is occurring right now.

“Ward?” Fitz pipes up, and the specialist turns to him and there, in his eyes, that sad look again. Fitz wonders what it means.

“Can you think back to before I found you? Just tell us what you remember.”

Jemma is looking at him accusingly, holding tightly to Skye’s hand to stop the hacker from taking Ward’s teeth out one by one. Fitz feels his heart sink lower, lower, because Jemma is going to hate him for this.

Fitz and Simmons have long since been a platonic duo, due to Jemma’s quiet rejection. Although, now that she’s in a relationship with two other people, at the same time, Fitz feels a little left out. He’s mostly over it, however - Fitz is Jemma’s friend, first and foremost, and he’d rather die than stop being that because of some stupid crush.

Besides, Fitz is both happy and very grateful for his best friend’s relationship - it made him realise that life isn’t as hit-and-run straight-line as it seems, and that not everything has to go into little boxes. Compartmentalisation was Nick Fury’s M-O, but (and don’t tell him this) Fitz thinks that’s a little bit dumb. Not in all situations, but definitely in some. Specifically in regard to sexual orientation.

But anyway.

Ward- ah, damn, Fitz zoned out and now Ward’s half-way through his story.

“Hill and I tried to disable the device, then-” Ward goes completely still, and his breathing shallows. His eyes widen.

And he looks like he’s suffocating, and he’s gasping for air, hands shaking even in cuffs, and Fitz can’t take this.

“Ward? Are you okay? Shit,” the scientist steps forward, stills Ward’s trembling fingers by covering them with his own, “Breathe out, Ward. Grant? Breathe with me.”

It’s the ‘Grant’ that Ward’s eyes flicker to Fitz’s on, and now Ward is trying, trying to pull himself together. Skye is watching on in horror.

“I thought Ward didn’t panic?” She turns to Jemma, white-faced, and Jemma is about to respond when Ward interjects.

“This Ward does,” he manages, voice high and shaky, and this is precisely when Fitz’s world begins to fall apart.

Fitz looks across the room at Jemma as her eyebrows skyrocket.

“What do you mean… ‘this Ward?’” Jemma asks cautiously, reluctantly letting go of Skye’s hand and stepping towards the specialist (whose breathing has now started to even out).

“I fell,” Ward says, and he sounds so broken. He turns to Fitz.

“Leo, I- Fitz. I think I’m in a parallel universe. There was something on the screen that said something about it and then Maria turned it off, she must have…” and there go Ward’s eyes again, widening, spiralling, “She _pushed_ me.”

Fitz thinks he’s going to throw up.

 

* * *

 

Originally, Fitz thought that no _way_ was Ward from a parallel universe. Impossible. But now…

He’s asked a lot of questions. They all have. Apparently, in Ward’s universe, Skye never joined S.H.I.E.L.D. - they never met her at all. HYDRA was still everywhere, unfortunately, but Ward wasn’t one of them.

And most of the team died in a fire started by Garrett. After that, Coulson got off the grid and left Ward and Hill alone.

Jemma is on the case immediately - ‘if this is true, we have to get you back to your universe as quickly as possible.’

But Ward doesn’t appear to want to go, and for the first time in what seems like forever, Fitz agrees with him. The Ward in their world is hopefully dead, but maybe he really is just still in prison. Fitz really, really hopes Ward 1.0 is still in prison.

And Ward 2.0… puts forward a compelling case. Fitz is almost ready to go all-in and believe everything Ward is saying, but it’s just too good to be true. Fitz sees the way Skye clutches tightly to Jemma whenever she sees the specialist, and the way Jemma holds on to Trip like they're both about to fall a long way down.

Ward tells Coulson, Fitz, Jemma, anyone who will listen that there’s nothing left for him back there. Don’t make him go back there, please, and he begs, and it’s so heartbreaking that Fitz finds himself crying in the middle of the night because he can’t forget the look on Ward’s face when Fitz called him Grant.

Fitz finds himself wondering how close the alternate version of him and Ward were. They’d called eachother by their first names, clearly.

Fitz tries not to imagine what their relationship had been.

He doesn’t try hard enough.

 

* * *

 

It is fun having Ward around, though. The man is shocked by the simplest things that the rest of the team just take for granted, specifically Jemma, Skye, and Trip’s relationship. He’s shocked that their version of him killed Victoria Hand and equally shocked that Fitz likes _monkeys_ in this reality, not elephants.

“I bought you so much elephant stuff,” Ward grins fondly, before looking to the floor.

Fitz is becoming too curious. It's wearing him thin and he _has_ to know, or it's going to eat him from the inside out. There's something Ward’s hiding and it revolves around him.

So, one night, when the rest of the team are talking strategy, playing Scrabble, and telling Maria about this new, “still not to be trusted, though” Ward, Fitz pays the specialist a visit. He can't handle being with the team right now anyway, they're all criticising Ward 2.0 and asking all these hard science questions that Fitz is expected to answer, except he can't, because  _parallel universes?????_

The hexagons on the wall of the Cage (which is where Ward is bunking, for some reason) hold several bad memories but it's fine, everything’s fine. Fitz is fine.

He doesn't remember when he started referring to himself as Fitz in his head, when he first started to really think like an agent, but he still thinks of Jemma as Jemma. His alternate version seemed to have referred to Ward as “Grant,” and Fitz doesn't know how he feels about that.

(He feels… warm).

“Agent Fitz. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Ward- Grant greets him. Fitz is gonna try the name out, just in his head. It won't hurt anybody.

Grant hasn't intentionally called him Leo in a few weeks, but he occasionally makes a slip-up, and when that happens, Fitz thinks that maybe Agent Grant Ward goes a little pink.

It's probably just a trick of the light.

Fitz feels the loss of the name deeper than he should.

Even though Ward was invited to team Scrabble night, he politely declined. Maybe he needed some alone time, or just some time away from May burning holes into the back of his head with her glare.

Fitz glances around a little nervously, Grant’s eyes narrowing as Fitz gulps, the scientist’s gaze landing on Grant’s bed.

Fitz is trying really hard not to think about sleeping too much. He's trying to just let sleep take him when it comes but he always wakes to his alarm - he's petrified of being comatose again, he still gets lung troubles. He knows it's never going to be the same as it was ( _it_ being... his body).

“You okay?” Grant asks concernedly.

“Yeah, just… remembering when Ward 1.0 threw me in the ocean and very nearly killed me,” Fitz forces a smile.

“Right,” Grant nods awkwardly, before gesturing to the chair across from him. Fitz sits, and even though they're on the wrong sides of the table, even though Grant isn't locked in here (May only agreed because Grant told her things about the parallel universe), it still feels uncomfortably like an interrogation.

“So, why the visit? Surely you weren't just feeling sociable,” Grant sighs, as if disappointed that the suggestion isn't true.

“Sorry, no,” Fitz steels himself, “I want to know what you've been keeping from me. About whatever happened to us - the parallel version of me, and you.”

“What I’ve been…” Grant gazes at Fitz in wonder, in disbelief, before he shakes his head, “I don't think you want to know.”

“I _need_ to,” Fitz almost whines, and Grant grins - Fitz feels his face light on fire.

Grant pauses.

“Fitz- Leo. You and I… well, him and I. But you two are so similar,” an expression of nostalgia and late nights and tea in bed crosses Grant’s face, and the usual tingle goes up Fitz’s spine when Grant says the word ‘Leo.’

“We were together,” Grant tries to choke the words out, like there's something caught in his throat, and he brings his hands up to his face, “Before he- you… before the Leo I knew died in that fire.”

Fitz already knew this would be the answer. But he needed some confirmation.

Now he just feels selfish, watching Grant come apart next to him; an image of conflict and guilt.

“I'm sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll… I’ll go, sorry,” Fitz tries to stand and leave, but as he takes a step towards the door, Grant’s hand shoots out and catches Fitz’s- Leo’s wrist. Because right now, in this moment, they're not S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, they're not tangled in thousands of different webs, they're just _them._ Grant and Leo.

Grant’s grip is soft, but persistent.

“Stay,” he pleads, and with the healing scar on the side of his face and those _eyes, those sad eyes,_ how could Leo not?

“I know you're not… I know you're not mine, not my Leo, because he’s gone,” Grant begins, but it's here that Fitz realises that this is who he imagined Ward 1.0 to be, before that one was too far gone. This is the Grant Ward Leo fell for, without him truly existing in Leo’s life, and even though Leo didn't realise it.

“I am,” Leo blurts out, and Grant stops his apologetic tirade.

“What?” Grant breathes, and Leo’s stepped closer to him now.

“I am your Leo,” he restates, and almost immediately regrets it. He presses on, “I’m not the guy you lost, but I believe your story, and I don't want you to leave. Not just because our Ward’s a dick, but because you're… it feels like you're the right one. Who he was supposed to be. So… I’ll be your Leo. If- if you want.”

Grant stares at him in awe. Even sitting, he’s nearly as tall as Leo (who’s still standing), and Grant’s eyes flicker to Leo’s lips for just a second.

It occurs to Leo that he has a physically flawless man sitting in front of him, completely ready to make out with him, which is a nice thought. Leo’s brain, however, is a huge fuck-up.

“How did we get together, in your universe?” Leo asks softly, staring into Grant’s eyes. They're this dark brown, Leo thinks he could drown in them. It's definitely very intense, long-held eye contact.

“South Ossetia,” Grant says in answer, “That happen here?”

Leo feels like he’s floating when he nods.

“Is this better?” Leo asks idiotically, flirtatiously, and _Christ,_ who says that to someone who lost their boyfriend in a fucking fire?

Grant looks shocked, distraught, but not for long. The melancholy is replaced by a slow smirk that makes Leo’s day.

“Not yet it's not,” the man smiles, raising his eyebrows.

 _‘Nice recovery,’_ Leo thinks, still kicking himself, and then all he can think of is that stupid bird pun internet meme that Skye showed him once. _Don't you mean nice redovery?_

“Turkey,” he murmurs, and Grant gives him this weird look that just says ‘I can’t believe this is the person I’m in love with.’

Leo leans forward and places his lips on Grant’s, and it's nice. It's slow and soft and they separate quickly, but Grant still looks deeply conflicted, even though he’s clearly enjoying himself by the way he chases after Leo’s mouth, breath warm on the scientist’s skin.

Grant looks like he's about to cry.

“What’s wrong?” Leo asks worriedly, scared that he’s fucked it all up again.

“I- it's just… I know I’m not, but it feels like I’m… replacing him. Somehow. With a different version,” Grant admits.

Leo blinks, because that's literally _exactly_ what just happened.

“You _are_ replacing him with a different version,” Leo huffs, pulling his chair around so he can sit in front of Grant, and the other man looks at him, puzzled.

“Well, think about it. You spend your life waiting for the perfect person, but then you lose them, or they're not perfect after all. And then you replace them with someone, another perfect person, and the cycle continues. It's perfectly fine, Grant, it's called having a type.”

“You're telling me that my type is Leo Fitz,” Grant deadpans, and Leo smiles.

“Yep,” Leo replies, “And as an alternate version of your former partner, I feel qualified to tell you that he’d _want you to be happy.”_

“Thank you,” Grant whispers, “Thank you, for saying that.”

Leo stands. If Ward isn't ready to do this right now, he gets it, he really does. And then, he stops.

Grant’s hands come up tentatively, and rest gently on Leo’s hips. And then they're kissing again, and warmth rises in Leo’s chest like honey is filling a Ward-shaped hole.

And maybe that kiss heats up and maybe Leo wakes up that morning in Grant’s makeshift bed with the other man’s lips to his back, and maybe Trip comes to check on Grant and suddenly the entire bus knows what happened, but whatever.

And maybe Ward 1.0 resurfaces and maybe they beat him because Grant, Leo’s Grant, knows exactly how to push all of Ward 1.0’s buttons.

Maybe.

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed this! leave me a comment if you did, it really makes my day :)


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